Title: No Laughing Matter
Author: Birgitt Schuknecht
Fandom: due South
Rating: PG (slash)
Pairing: Vecchio/Fraser
Category: Humour
Disclaimer: The characters used in the following story are not mine. I
do not make any money out of this. It's written for fun and for the fans
of the show.
Feedback: birgitt.schuknecht@uni-essen.de
Spoilers: sequel to "Happy Birthday, Fraser!"
Teaser: It's not the first time Fraser has to save a life. But this time
it's surely different.

No Laughing Matter
by Birgitt Schuknecht

Author's note: Some of my reader (I love the sound of that) saw in my
story "Happy Birthday, Fraser!" the potential for a sequel. This is the

Ray Vecchio lay in the spartan bed beside his lover, listening to his
steady breathing. He knew though, that Benny wasn't sleeping. Their
lovemaking had been far more playful than exhausting this time. And Ray
was content with it. It just fit the occasion. With a giggle he
remembered Benny's face covered with whipped cream. And better still the
furious expression on Inspector Thatcher's face when she'd ran from
Benny's apartment a less than an hour ago. Yes, he could laugh about it
now. But his jealousy had been a real and hurting experience. He gave a
small shudder at this thought. Better try and forget about it. At least
tonight. Ray knew his temper well enough not to fool himself about his
emotions. There would be times his feelings of possessiveness concerning
Benny would lead to another run-in with his friend.

Ray concentrated again on the breaths of the man beside him. Slowly and
despite the fact that he wasn't tired he slipped into a light doze. And
he woke with a start when Benny nudged his side rather painfully. "Get
up and into your cloth, Ray. Hurry, Willie will be here with Diefenbaker
any minute."

With a groan Ray sat up. "How do you know that, Benny? What was the last
course you took in the "We'll turn our Mounties into Supermen"-college?
You'll have to stop those things, otherwise you'll scare me off." All
the time he was talking to Benny, he was fighting to get himself into a
decent outfit in record time. On the other side of the bed Benny did the
same. And not surprisingly the Mountie was finished well before his

When the door opened finally both men were sitting at the kitchen table,
trying to keep their faces straight. That wasn't an easy task. Ray just
had to look at his lover's face to remember the whipped cream again.
With an effort he looked at the floor. But that wasn't any help, since
there were still the remnants of Benny's birthday cake, clearly to see.
He broke out laughing, to the astonishment of the boy entering the
apartment with Benny's wolf in tow. Benny shot Ray an evil look, but
that even worsened Ray's laughing fit. Ray fixed his eyes on Willie,
than on the wolf and neither expression on the respective faces made him
stop laughing a little bit.

Benny became concerned. If Ray couldn't stop shortly he would suffer a
horrible hiccup - or something worse. The Mountie stood and started
yelling at his friend all of the sudden. "Ray! Stop it! Now!" That was
of no use. Ray was laughing still, it became even harder, although Benny
didn't think that was possible. He exchanged glances with Willie.

The boy managed finally to close his mouth. "What's with'im? He gone
totally insane now?" Benny shrugged his shoulders. "That's kind of a
long story." Willie crossed his arms. "That the reason why you never
showed up to get Dief? It must be past nine by now. I've waited ages for
ya!" Benny nodded, and raised his voice a little bit to make himself
heard above Ray's laughter. "Sorry Willie, I'll pay you the extra time."
Without saying a word Willie stretched out his left hand and Benny
handed him a note he pulled from the pocket of his uniform trousers.
"See ya! Bye Dief! Bye Detective, don't killyaself!" With that Willie
left the apartment, closing the door behind him. No way he stayed any
longer with those madmen.

Benny was at a loss. He looked down at his still laughing friend, now
squirming on the floor of the apartment, tears streaming down his
cheeks. Dief stared at the human interestedly. The wolf than made eye
contact with the Mountie. Benny could have sworn that there was a grin
on the canine face. He shook his head decisively. Wolves didn't smile or
even grin.

But Benny did have to do something to calm his friend. Is it possible to
laugh oneself to death? Benny had no intention to use Ray in an
experiment, however intriguing it might be. He bent down and grabbed him
by his silk shirt, shaking him violently. "Ray, come to your senses.
Stop this right now." But all the yelling and shaking didn't impress his
lover. Benny let Ray down on the floor again.

The Mountie looked around and focused on the sink in the kitchen. He
went over to it and filled a bowl with water from the tap. In a few
strides he was back and splashed the cold liquid into Ray's face full
force. The man sputtered a bit and Benny sighed in relief. But he had
been to rash in his conclusion. After taking a few ragged breaths Ray
went back to square one, rolling on the floor, shaking with fits of

What now? Ray was going to kill himself that way. Again Benny looked
around, searching for any means to help his friend. His gaze lingered on
the leftovers of Mrs. Vecchio's cake and suddenly it came to him. He
thought it unlikely that it would help. But at least he wanted to try it
out, before knocking out his friend by a decent blow.

Again he went to the kitchen, opening the cupboard. With an not too
innocent smile on his face he took out a giant bottle of real Canadian
quality maple syrup. He opened it and took in its odour with a pang of
regret. What a waste! But Ray was certainly worth this sacrifice. And it
would be fun.

Slowly Benny stood over Ray, who was unable to sense anything amiss. The
Mountie let flow the maple syrup onto the head of his lover, careful not
to spill anything of the bottle's contents onto the floor. At first
there was no reaction, but as the fluid made it's way down Ray's head,
gracing his features and then his throat, before vanishing under his
shirt, the laughter subsided slowly. Nevertheless Ray was still in no
state to hinder Benny in his actions and the Mountie never stopped
before the entire bottle was emptied on his friend. Ray gasped
repeatedly and finally managed to stammer: "God, Benny, ya saved my
life. I was killing off myself..." He lifted a hand to examine the
fluid his whole body seemed to be covered with. "This maple syrup,
Benny?" he said in a little voice.

Benny smiled down at his lover. He was tempted for a second to start
licking the syrup off Ray. But he checked himself just in time. He
clearly didn't want history repeated tonight. Instead he gave his
exhausted friend a hand and helped him up on staggering feet. When they
stood eye to eye, Benny answered Ray's question with a grin: "Yes, Ray.
That's maple syrup. Sorry, I couldn't wait till your birthday...".

The End